Update II

Greg agreed to meet with me for the last time tonight. I'm nervous. I have a million things I want to say, but I need the strength to get through it. Naturally, my first instinct is to plead, "Please love me. Don't love Aaron." But I'd shoot myself first. I don't want to make him uncomfortable, and I don't want to end up a bawling mess. I want to say good-bye with a small ounce of dignity. I want to thank him for the good times we had. I want him to know how much I'll miss him. I can already see a difference in the way he talks to me. He sounds like a friend. Which to me, is like a stranger. And it kills me to know that over time, he will continue to become more and more of a stranger. I won't know what's going on in his life. What's killing me even more is thinking about all the things we won't do together now. We both love Halloween and I was looking forward to the scavenger hunt with him. San Diego in a few weeks. Palm Springs in November, Las Vegas in December. I hope I don't forget to tell him anything because I don't want to bug him too much after. I want this to end well. Oh. And I want a hug. I want a fucking hug.