Update V

Small setback.

Last night it still took me a while to fall asleep. But even though I was sad, I wasn't actively hurting anymore. Then this morning this whole thing crept into an otherwise peaceful dream. Last night I texted Christine that Greg had loved me... he just loved Aaron more. And in my dream, a certain point was driven home to me. He loved me -- past tense. He now only cares about me as a friend, not loves me romantically. And that loss jolted me awake at 6:05am and I haven't been able to go back to sleep. After the meeting last night I thought maybe he and I could be just friends. But now I'm not so sure. I can't stand to think of him looking at me and not see love in his eyes. I don't think I can see him and not want to hug him or hold him or kiss him. I hope I CAN get to a place where we can be friends because I also can't imagine not seeing him again. But if I can't get there, I know he'll still always have a special place in my heart. Argh. The hurt came back a little. The villainy.