Update VII
I've been messaging Greg this morning over text. We have two rules:
1. I can't say I miss him.
2. I want to know that he's happy with Aaron, but he can't tell me specifics. For example, he can not say, "Today, Aaron and I held hands and skipped through the park."
It's going okay. This morning, I had a flashback of us in Vegas and I had a total panic attack of desperation where I wanted to say, "I NEED YOU BACK!" but just sending him a regular message helped. He still feels really bad, and here's what's interesting. I find it easier to be happy for his sake rather than for my own. I don't want him to feel bad that I'm sad, and forcing myself to be happy for his benefit comes much easier. I know, I'm sick.
1. I can't say I miss him.
2. I want to know that he's happy with Aaron, but he can't tell me specifics. For example, he can not say, "Today, Aaron and I held hands and skipped through the park."
It's going okay. This morning, I had a flashback of us in Vegas and I had a total panic attack of desperation where I wanted to say, "I NEED YOU BACK!" but just sending him a regular message helped. He still feels really bad, and here's what's interesting. I find it easier to be happy for his sake rather than for my own. I don't want him to feel bad that I'm sad, and forcing myself to be happy for his benefit comes much easier. I know, I'm sick.
posted by Ryan at
12:08 PM
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